2 officers were chacing 3 girls. One girl was a brunette, one redhead, and blonde. The girls notice a barn comming up and decide to bail and hide in the barn. The cops notice them run in there so they go to look around. In the nick of time, the redhead hides with a bunch of chickens, the brunette hides under some cows, and the blonde hides in a big potato sack. The cops slowly and gently search around the barn. One cop looks around the chickens and the redhead says, "Gobble gobble!". The other cop looks around the cows and the bruntte says, "Moo!". The first cop goes kicking around the potato sack and hears "Potato!".

What is the defintion of mixed emotions? Your Mother In-law going over a cliff in your brand new Mercedes!

A 70 yr old man walks into the local doctor's office for a check-up. The Doctor says: "I can't believe how great your health is for your age, your father must have lived a long life!" "'Lived', who said he died, he is alive and well at 93!" "Wow, your Grandfather probably lived a long time tho." "Who said that he died, matter of fact he is getting married next week to a twenty five year old woman, at the age of 115." "Holy Cow!" the Doctor replies. "Why in God's name would he want to get married at his age?" "Who said, he wanted to get married?"

A man walks into the local Pyschiatric center completely naked and wrapped in siran wrap! The Pyschiatrist looks at the man and says: "I Can Clearly See your nuts!"

Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."

One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part of the dog did you get?"