Why is lettuce religious? Because they always say let us pray in church.

A young lady in the mountains meets a young man, they fall in love and are planning a wedding. Her dad takes her aside and says, "Honey, you can't married him he is your brother." In a few months she meets another young man and about a year later they plan to marry, her dad take her aside and says, "Honey, you can't married him, he is your brother."

About a year latter she meet a young man from another state and they fall in love and plan to marry, again her father takes her aside and says, "Honey, I am so sorry but you can't marry him, he is your brother, too." Well the young girl is heart broken and crying. Her father leaves the room, her mother comes in and says, "Honey, dry your tears, and put a big smile on your face, and marry this young man. It ok because your daddy is not really your daddy."

Question: What does a 8 year old knight do when he sleeps?

Answer: Turns on his knight light.

Three captured terrorists are all sentenced to die and after they were executed they all went to hell and they stood before the devil and he looks them over and he says, "I'll give all three of you one chance to escape eternal damnation".

The first one looks around and he picks up a rock then he points and he yells, "Hey, what is that over there?!" Satan turns away to look and the first man throws the rock at him but the devil isnt fooled and he sends the first one to the fiery depths! The second man tries the same thing but Satan blinks and the second one is already gone before he can even throw the rock.

The third terrorist is left alone with the devil and Satan stares at him and he thinks to himself, "This last one does'nt have a chance in hell!" So the third thinks up a plan and he asks Satan for a long and wide sheet of paper, a hole puncher, and a large can of beans. The devil thinks it over and he says ok. He gives the last one his request.

The last terrorist eats the entire can of beans, then he starts to punch holes in the large sheet of paper. When he finished the terrorist turned around and held the paper up and farted at the paper really hard! He then turned around and said to Satan, "Now which hole did the fart go through?".

Yo' Momma Is So Ugly.. when she looked in the mirror it BROKE..

Yo' Momma Is So Fat.. she takes her baths in the ocean...