An ugly looking woman is walking into the local Wal-Mart dragging one of the kids by the arm, and carrying the other.

The greeter asked: Are they twins?

The woman responds: They are ten years apart, why do you really think they look like twins?

The greeter: No, I just can't believe somebody screwed you twice!

A man is listening to the radio before going to work, all of a sudden there was an Emergency Announcement that a Gorilla had just escaped the local zoo. If anyone spots the gorilla, contact a certain number.

Not thinking to much about it, he walks out his front door to go to work, looks up in his tree, notices the gorilla that escaped was way up in the branches. He runs back into the house, calls, within ten minutes a pickup truck pulls onto his front lawn. The man steps out, he has a german shepard, a shot gun, a club, and a set of handcuufs.

"What are you gonna do with all this stuff," the homeowner asks. "Well," says the guy, "I am goona climb up the tree, knock the gorilla over the head, as soon as he hits the ground, the german shepard is going to go for its balls, the gorilla will reach out to protect itself, your gonna handcuff it!"

"Oh, well what is the shot gun for?" asked the homeowner. "Well, if that bastard gets the club and knocks me out of the tree, Shoot The Dog!"

There are 2 naked toddlers (boy and a girl) ready to take a bath, the boy tells the girl,  "He he, you don't have this," pointing down and the girl calmly responds pointing down, "My mom says that having this, I can have all of those I want."

You blonde sister is so-o-o-o-o dumb that she bought dental floss for her dentures.

Your blonde sister is so-o-o-o-o dumb, she reported to polcie she was hit by a parked car.

You blonde sister is so-o-o-o-o dumb, she thought Aquafresh was a douche to be used after swimming.

Your blonde sister is so-o-o-o dumb, she couldn't call emergency because she did not find an 11 on the phone.

Guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I have a sex problem." The doctor says, "How often do you have intercourse?" And the guy says, "In-frequently." And the doctor replies, "Is that one word or two?"