A man took his Rottwieler to the vet and said to the vet, "My dog is cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for it?" "Well," said the vet "Let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and has a good look at his eyes, "Well," says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down." "Just because he's cross-eyed? says the man. "No, because he's heavy," says the vet.
After hours looking for a parking place in down town Vancouver, the driver looked up to the sky and prayed to God, "Please, give me a parking spot, I promise you and I will go to church every Sunday." A monent after that he found one and then he said, "Never mind, God, I found one..."
A man goes to the pharmacist and told him: "My dick is hurting", the pharmacist took him aside and told him: "Please, don't be so blunt, there are women and children here", after giving him some medicine, told him next time to talk about "his arm", the following week, the same guy showed up, the pharmacy was packed and the pharmacist trying to prevent the guy from speaking like last time, asked him: "Your arm is getting better?", the guy said: "My arm is getting better but now it's my balls."
During the late 1960's and 1970's America's Astronauts were involved in the APPOLO MISSIONS to the MOON. As one of the Astronauts exited the Module to explore the terrain, he noticed a beautiful BLONDE MOON MAIDEN using a LADEL to stir the contents of a large BLACK POT.
He asked the MOON MAIDEN what was she MAKING. She replied that she was making a BABY. Now it didn't take long for the Astronaut to VOLUNTEER to INFORM her that this is not the way that HUMANS make BABIES and offered to give her a DEMONSTRATION of the way it is done on earth.
After the DEMONSTRATION, the MOOM MAIDEN asked WHERE IS THE BABY to which the Astronaut replied that it takes NINE MONTHS. The MOON MAIDEN then asked, "WHY DID YOU STOP STIRRING?"
 
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