Raving about this old time stainless steel diner, my friend convinced me to go with him and try it for lunch sitting down, the burly waitress asked: "What'll it be?" she asked my friend, "I'll have a hamburger," said my friend she immediatly put her hand in the cooler, pulled out a handful of chopmeat and put it in her armpit. "What are U doing?" I asked. "I'm thawing the meat out hon; what would U like?" she said I responded "I wanted a frank, but I'm gonna pass."

A man visits his religious mentor with a question: "Sir, is it wrong to lust after your wife? I've been married thirty years!" "No," says his religious mentor, "it's not wrong."

"Well, said the parisoner,"I was so filled with emotion for my wife, I saw her bent over the freezer, I lifted her dress and had relations right then and there with her; is that wrong?" "No," said his religious mentor, "I told U once before, it's not wrong!" "Well sir, it got us thrown out of Wally World!!"

This guy walks into the local bar one Friday afternoon when he gets out of work, as he steps up to the bar he sees his good friend Joe throw down 2 shots, he had a frown on his face. What's with the long face Joe? Joe responds: "My wife told me today that she was only going to have sex with me on Mondays, and Thursdays!" "Well, "said the friend, "That's not that bad, some of us she has cut off completely."

Two blondes are walking down the sidewalk, one bends over picks up a cosmetic mirror, opens it, and just keeps stairing at it. The other blonde says, "What's the matter?" To that the first blonde replies: "I have seen this person before but I can't think who it is!" The second blonde takes the mirror, looks in it, she replies back: "It's me, you silly girl."

Next time you want to have a little fun at a McDonalds drive thru- Order a Rubber Band Sandwich, tell them to make it Snappy!