I have a beautiful young neighbor. She's single and lives right across the street. I can see her house from my family room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.

She knocked on my door and I rushed to open it. She looks at me and says, “I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk and make love all night long! Are you busy tonight?”

Without missing a heartbeat I immediately replied, “Nope, I'm free. I have no plans at all!” Then she said, “Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?" Man, it's no fun getting old!!!