Girl: Doctor, I feel like I am stupid.. Am I?
Doctor: Well, you walked in to a pipe yesterday and hit your head, then you thought your suitcase was a puppy, then you slipped on a ball on the " Kiddie Playground" and a lot of other things.
Girl: So It's true, I am stupid.
Doctor: No you`r not....Wait.. yes you are.
A dad knocks on the bathroom door wher his daughter Becky was taking a shower and dad says, "Becky, just how long will you taking a shower?" Becky replies, "Pops water affects your weight, not your height and I am just five foot six."
There was this man he wanted to build his dream home. He only wanted to buy the supplies he needed, but he didn't want anything left over. Well he spent several months building the house and he finally completed it. He stepped back to admire his accomplishment and he tripped over a brick, so he picked up the brick and threw it up in the air.
Okay let me tell you another joke:
There was this older lady that had the same pilot fly her around. And her dog is constantly chewing on his pant leg, and she can't stand the pilots stinky cigar. So the pilot told her one day, "I will get rid of my cigar, if you get your dog to stop chewing on my pant leg." She asked how are we going to do that. The pilot said, "I will balance the dog on the wing of the plane", so she agreed.
Then the pilot balanced the dog on the wing of the plane, he took a couple more puffs of his cigar, and he threw it out the window. "What was in the dog's mouth?" THE BRICK.
After a romantic interlude with the Lady of my desire that I'd met on the internet, she expressed to me, "It's sad that we hadn't met thirty years ago, but there was no internet back then!" I responded by stating, "Yeah there was!" She was startled and returned, "What are you talking about? There wasn't any internet in 1981!" "Sure there was." I furthered, "It was the lining of Men's swimming trunks." She questioned, "What...?" So I completed my thought, "We had to have something to 'log-on' to!"
Yo momma so fat she's dead and can't go any further than that.
Yo momma so fat she worked in restaurant and got even more fat.
Yo momma so fat alien rejected her outta spaceship to avoid accident.
Yo momma so fat she steps on asteroid and it turns into a meteor.
Yo momma so fat they had to photoshopped her picture to be fit in driving license.
I left my phone at home but my young brother is there. When am backing to take it, I get an idea to call my young bro, so as he could take it and meet with me at the road. Problem cames how could i call him??? Phone I left at home at the same time I want to make a call..hahahahaha