A philosopher went into a closet for ten years to contemplate the question, What is life? When he came out, he went into the street and met an old colleague, who asked him where in heaven's name he had been all those years.
"In a closet," he repied. "I wanted to know what life really is."
"And have you found an answer?"
"Yes," he replied. "I think it can best be expressed by saying that life is like a bridge."
"That's all well and good," replied the colleage, "but can you be a little more explicit? Can you tell me how life is like a bridge?"
"Oh," replied the philosopher after some thought, "maybe you're right; perhaps life is not like a bridge."
A married couple sitting at the dinner table sharing their day's events. The wife tells her husband that she has never been so humiliated when she was downtown today.While getting her shoes shined at a downtown parlor the shoeshine boy looked up & said: "Oh I could eat that full of ice cream." The woman insists that her husband go down there & beat up that shoeshine boy. The husband says: "There are three reasons why I won't go down there....
1. You had no business being downtown.
2. That kid might beat me up &
3. There isn't anybody in the world who can eat that much ice cream!"
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.