Dirty Jokes are OFF On
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11/23/2010 from Michelle6.4

A cowboy found a magic lamp while he was on a cattle drive, not knowing what it was the cowboy rubbed the lamp and a genie floated out. The genie told the cowboy he could have any three wishes he wanted.

For the first wish the cowboy asked to be rich beyond his wildest dreams. For the second wish he asked for the biggest ranch in Texas. The genie said: "You have one last wish, use it wisely." The cowboy looked over his shoulder at his horse and grinned. He looked at the genie and said: "I want to be hung like that there horse of mine." "Very well", the genie replied, "in the morning when you awaken, your wishes will have been granted." With that the genie and the lamp vanished with a poof.

The next morning when the cowboy woke up, in his right hand was a bank statement with 300 million dollars as the total. In his left hand was the deed to his very own ranch. The cowboy jumped to his feet and exclaimed: "It was real."  Then he remembered his third wish and dropped his pants and looked down, suddenly he cried out in horror: "Oh GOD! I rode the MARE on this trip!"

08/11/2011 from Marna Ivlow4.9

How do you stop a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head!

01/01/2013 from janet berc5.6

A blonde, A brunette, and a red-head all died in a car crash, and they all went to heaven at the same time.

They arrive at the gates of heaven, when God appears and tells them they must pass a laughter test, if they fail, they will be sent to hell.

The objective was to climb 100 stairs without laughing. Each stair will have it's own joke.

The Brunette goes first, and laughs at the 46th stair.

The Red-Head goes second, and laughs at the 77th stair.

The Blonde, makes all the way to the 100th step, when she suddenly bursts out with laughter.

God asks "Why are you laughing now?"

The Blonde says "I just got the first joke!".

07/04/2011 from c.partida3.7

What's the difference between a policeman's nightstick & a magician's wand? A magicians wand is for cunning stunts.

05/10/2012 from B-Man5.6

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."