Dirty Jokes are OFF On
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09/16/2011 from Tania Smith3.4

Why did the BRUNETTE have a black eye, and a bloody nose?

Because she told to many BLONDE jokes!

08/05/2010 from Del Se4.7

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.

02/09/2011 from DONALD J THORN6.3

There was a New York banker who flew to Las Vegas to gamble and have a little fun. After quite a few hours, when his money had run out he, decided to go to bed and get up early and fly back to New York. But when he went through the lobby he saw this Cigar, Cigarette and Cigarello girl. He very casually went up to her and said: "My, you are a lovely young lady, I am a stranger to your town and lonely and was wondering if you would spend the night with me?" She said: "Wow, I have never been asked so candidly before, but as I understand it, all my girlfriends do it so why shouldn't I?"

She spends the night with him and in the morning he asks: "How much do I own you for that?" She said: "Wow, I could never place a price on what I have given you, but my girlfriends charge $500 and I can't see why I shouldn't charge the same price." "$500!, he said, I don't have that kind of money on me, but I am an honest banker so when I get back to New York I'll have my secretary send you a check." She said, "Well, I've had little experience with this stuff, maybe I should have asked for the money up front."

To which the banker replied: "You know, I can't possibly have the secretary fill out a check for $500 and then say 'FOR SERVICES RENDERED' I have to have her put something else. What would cost $500 in Vegas? How about 'RENT FOR APARTMENT'?" She said that she didn't care what games he had to play with his bank as long as the check was in her name and she could cash it.

The banker was flying back thinking what he had gotten and what he had to pay for. When he arrived to the bank he had the secretary fill out a check for $250 and enclose this note: "Please find enclosed RENT FOR APARTMENT. It is not the amount agreed upon but I offer these three observations. 1 - I was led to believe that the apartment had never been occupied before, 2 - There was very little heat available, and 3 - There was entirely too much room for my needs!"

He figures she will cash the check and that would be the end of it, but one week later, back came the check torn to little bits and enclosed was this note: "Dear Sir, I am so very sorry that you were not satisfied with your apartment, but here are three things I would like you to consider - 1 - How could you possibly expect a lovely apartment to remain unoccupied, 2 - There was plenty of heat, if only you knew how to turn it on and finally 3 - It's not my fault you didn't have enough furniture to furnish it!"

12/06/2012 from nataly5.7

 She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds.
"Who was it?" he asked.
"My husband," she replied.
"I better get going," he said. "Where was he?"
"Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you."

01/17/2013 from jane5.6

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Logan, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him.

"I don't have to," the little boy replied.

"Of course you do," his mother insisted, "we say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house," Logan explained, "but this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook.