Dirty Jokes are OFF On
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08/08/2010 from Jay6.1

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him.

Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?!"

"Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can't help practicing my art!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" the guy replied.
"I work for the IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"

05/29/2013 from omar5.1

I was leaving for a two-day conference, and my seven-year-old daughter, Katherine, was becoming overly clinging and teary. I was mystified at her emotional reaction until I heard her say to my husband, "Daddy, I have a loose tooth. If it falls out while Mommy is gone, do you know how to handle this tooth fairy thing?"

01/27/2013 from donna4.7

A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer.

The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws him out.

A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says... 'What did you do that for!'

01/18/2013 from kelly clarson5.2

Why are divorces so expensive?

Because they are worth it.

02/21/2013 from janet berc5.9

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond.

Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.